“Dear Sir or Madam, the ICE 0815 to Baghdad-Eschingen is unfortunately 420 minutes late today. The reason for this is human error. We ask for your understanding!” Everyone knows station announcements like this one. Accordingly, everyone knows what a horror train ride is. And yet Deutsche Bahn was booming this year. Thousands of people traveled across the country with the nine-euro ticket, made the pilgrimage to Sylt to celebrate with the punks in Westerland and enjoyed life to the fullest.
Unfortunately, you have to pay full price for the public transport ticket again. So it’s time to look around for cheaper alternatives that are nice to travel around the country on rails – like Choo-Choo Charles! Here you explore a bizarre open world that is being terrorized by a huge spider locomotive. Sounds stupid? Eat it too. Therefore, here are our impressions in the form of a travel diary!
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Choo Choo Charles | The horror of train travel
The horror of train travel
At the beginning of Choo-Choo Charles we only understand train station. Oh no, sorry: we are in front of a train station. Because for a decent railway adventure you need a suitable railway. DB attendant Eugene kindly leads us to the right platform, with a few small detours. Because obviously our locomotive has to be taken out of its shed first. And you have to unlock it first. Such a lack of plan probably caused the notorious “delayed provision of the train”.
Choo-Choo Charles: This horror train has no brakes! (2) Source: Two Star Games But then we finally stand in front of him: our rolling home for the next four hours, our steel colossus on eight wheels, our wet dream of every Märklin and LBG nerd. We affectionately dub it the “Pineapple Express” because it’s big and yellow, and because it smokes well out of the chimney – just like Seth Rogen at his best. Then all you have to do is release the brake and off you go on a wild ride. Bye bye, motherfucker. Full steam ahead!
A few meters later, however, the first problem arises: the ICE Charles is pushing behind us. He absolutely has to pass to make up for his delay. We should kindly switch to another rail section! Difficult with only one route. That’s why the train and the train driver mutate into a literal animal – with spider legs and a distorted clown face – and try in all seriousness to simply push us off the track!
Shortly afterwards we have to complain about the first personal injury. Eugene got it. If he had paid attention to the prescribed distance to the edge of the platform. What a shame, he was a good man. However, we do not have time for further delays in operations. So let’s go.
Nice but ugly
Choo-Choo Charles: This horror train has no brakes! (3) Source: Two Star Games
We reach the first stop, the Museum of Aranaerum. We meet some locals and start chatting a bit. There’s enough time. It takes another 69 minutes before we have to change trains. But just between us, dear travel diary: the people there were a bit ugly: skin and hair as if made of rubber, movements like in a puppet theater. And they were all a bit funny too: Nobody opens their mouths when talking, eye contact isn’t really their thing either. Maybe they’re just shy because of their deranged facial features?
But the people in Aranaerum are incredibly nice and open. Everyone tells you half of their life story without being asked. Everyone has something to while away the time until the connecting train. It’s a bit odd when you’re asked to put out a burning wagon, tear down posters or get a pickle jar from an old mine. And these delivery services are not particularly demanding or even varied. But you can stretch your legs nicely. And you get paid too! There are a few toys here and there, but mostly just junk. Now that’s not so unusual. We don’t know any different from the editorial staff.
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